Remember as a kid finding yourself walking alone in the dark for some reason. At first you are OK. Then a little nervousness sets in, but you try to give yourself a pep talk about there being nothing to be afraid. At some point, the fearful thoughts overwhelm you, and you take off running for the light, bursting into the house slightly breathless with the evidence of fear still in your eyes.
We know logically that the darkness itself won't hurt us. Is it instinctive to feel that the darkness hides unknown dangers?
Usually I'm not a fearful person. It is the things that are beyond my control that occasionally haunt me in the middle of the night. I no longer believe that because I love God that I am somehow protected from the painful things of life.
I now understand that there are unknown dangers, that monsters in the dark have the ability to suddenly and unexpectedly reach out and hurt you.
When I look at the what if's, there is a common fear - will I have the ability to endure whatever pain life brings? Pain humbles me. It makes me dependent and needy. It jeopardizes my control.
To this point, I can say that God's grace has been there for me during every hard time I have experienced. I suppose I could keep trusting in Him.