Tuesday, September 04, 2007


Perhaps it is related to the season and time of year, with summer quickly turning into fall, the beginning of a new school year, and the first day of work in September.

As we headed into last weekend, I had a sense of anticipation, a feeling that after Sunday, things would change. I felt like it was a corner - a point where our direction would turn. After processing our thoughts and feelings about the weekend, the net result is something different than I expected.

There is this overwhelming feeling that it is "the end." The end of what, I'm not sure. It is a bit difficult to describe because it is a strong feeling/sensing rather than a factual knowing. I had not mentioned the thought of turning a corner to my husband, but yesterday it was obvious to both of us that something had shifted.

In a journey of liminality, a change of direction is not necessarily meaningful. You still don't know where you are going.

This quote from Graham Cooke was encouraging to me today:

"When we live from the inner man of the spirit, we detect nuances, like a sailor detecting subtle shifts in the wind, or a farmer the smell of early rain. These signs of change cause us to reflect and move closer to the person of God through prayer and worship. We begin to ask for grace and wisdom because we feel something is changing. Our early warning system is working."

This is what I am sensing, that it is time to move in closer to God and listen for His direction for the season we are entering.


Jamie Arpin-Ricci said...

We're praying for you as you enter this stage of the journey.


Anonymous said...

I am so glad your 'early warning' sensor is working...stay close to Him.
I'm in a similar place..an ending and a beginning.

Blessings on you and your family.

Bob said...

I'm with you, Grace.

My wife always referred to it as "breaking up". We had very, very good friends at our CLB. Our departure from regular church attendance was hard on both of us and basically destroyed the relationship.

Three years later we had them over for fellowship (they were moving out of town). And "it" just wasn't there anymore. They're nice. We love them. But the magic is gone and even the feelings of sorrow/regret/pain are gone. It is over.

And that's o.k.

We still haven't found another relationship like that one but that's o.k., too.

Robbymac said...

Man, you just gotta love the wisdom of Graham's writings, eh?

Is this perhaps a "stirring of the nest", as the saying goes?

YWAM can always use some more emerging/missional post-charismtatic/charismissional detoxed-from-church people... :)

John Frye said...

I am thrilled about these soft detections of the Spirit's gentle brushes against your soul. You are knowing in the other dimension of knowing. As others commented, I am eager to see what God has for you next. God bless!

Erin said...

I pray that you catch the wind of whichever way God is moving you...

Jeff said...

Life and change are very much a process and I'm glad to hear that God is speaking to you both.

I get fired up to know that the Father is connecting directly with his kids… doing things that would be impossible if we weren't listening to the subtle working of his Spirit.

travis said...

Not sure how to react...This hits home with me right now! It is a strange feeling!

faintnot said...

"This is what I am sensing, that it is time to move in closer to God and listen for His direction for the season we are entering."

Yes, amen, yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!

paul said...

I love how God calls us into the future and walks with us in the present...

here's to interesting times!

grace said...

Thank you Jamie!

Life is a series of endings and beginnings. I pray that your new beginnings bring peace and life to you also.

I can relate to what you are saying in the sense that churchwise we won't ever be going back to "what was" with this group of people.

Many of our relationships with the ex-CLBers have actually improved because they are no longer centered around the club, and we have to be more intentional about our friendships. However, we are facing the reality that things will continue to change.

Fred and Mary are great. We aren't "breaking up" with them. ;)

Sure, maybe we could join YWAM, or maybe you could move down here and start a church for me. :)

Thank you. It sounds so beautiful the way you describe it. The reality has been a bit messier.

You too! I left a comment at your place.

So true. I want nothing else than to follow Him directly.

It is strange, especially to realize that you've turned, but still not really know where you're going.

It would seem a safe place to be, yes?

I love the present/future reality of God.

Robbymac said...


"...or maybe you could move down here and start a church for me."

Sorry, my friend, I've tried planting churches before, and I frankly suck at it. That's one mistake I won't make again.

grace said...

Oh well, probably just as well. I would probably be one of those annoying, codependent, passive-aggressive congregants anyway.

In spite of your past experiences, I choose to believe that you really don't suck at church planting.

Robbymac said...

"I would probably be one of those annoying, codependent, passive-aggressive congregants anyway."


There may be some people who fit that description, but you are definitely NOT one of them! :)