Sunday, September 16, 2007

Go Ahead God, Mess it Up

Clear words, resonating in my ears and my mind as I stumbled out of bed after a long night of vivid, yet disjointed dreams.

I made my way to the computer and wrote them down while still in the haze of sleep. I tried to piece together the scenes and stories that led up to the declaration, but could only grasp bits and pieces without the vivid clarity they had during the night.

I went in search of some caffeine, and sat down to skim through my bloglines. By then, I had already forgotten the phrase, so I was thankful to have written it down.

What were those dreams? A wedding called off at the last minute, a beautiful motel destroyed by fire, a commercial real estate deal that bombed at closing.

The wedding prep was beautiful, gorgeous cakes, sparkly people, beautiful bride. The motel was amazing, luxurious, a jewel in the community. The real estate deal would have been profitable.

Our plans, our kingdoms...

What about my plans, my kingdom?

Go ahead God, mess it up.

7 comments:

grace said...

Not that He needs my permission. :)

Ché Vachon said...

He may not need your permission...but He sure longs to have it.
I've often seen Him waiting around the edges of our ideas, longing to be a part of it...but somehow, just letting us find out that we maybe should ask...
I think, to HIm, our 'yes, Lord' is love...maybe even worship.
I'm enjoying seeing your journey...

Gary Means said...

I remember once when I was a new Christian, it was a beautiful summer afternoon, the sun was glistening on the lake at the base of the hill below me. A warm breeze rustled the leaves of the willows which drooped and touched the water. I stood there, reveling in the beauty of the day, I considering my state in life. I had a wonderful wife, an infant son, a good job, a new home. Suddenly the question/prayer came into my mind, "God, what are You going to do to F- this up now?" Not exactly the stereotypical way for an evangelical to address God, or to think about Him. I was concerned about God messing with my life, screwing things up for some arcane purpose of His. Of course, He did allow life to take its natural course, and in time challenges and crises did arise which obliterate my vision of an idyllic life and returned me to my normal cynical, depressed perspective. (normal for then - not that I don't still naturally lean toward cynicism and negativity now - but prayer, life, and meds help.)

Thank God that He did "screw with" my life. If He hadn't I'd still be the person I was back then . . . even more self-centered and immature than I am now. I agree with you, go ahead God, mess it up! Great reminder, Grace.

glenn said...

Grace- I say God throws mostly curves. I don't get it. It hurts. It frustrates. However, I would not want to go back. Somehow, I remember that I can trust him and a weird peace and joy returns to my broken heart.

grace said...

che,
Yes I think "yes Lord" is worship. Seems Jesus said something along the lines of, "if you obey my commands..."

gary,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. They reminded me that so much depends on our view and understanding of God. It's kind of hard to trust someone that we believe is angry at us.

I have been thinking about this statement and wondering if it was a statement of surrender or perhaps a prayer. I'm not sure. Either way, I trust that God's plans are better than mine.

glenn,
Or perhaps life throws curves and God sees it all from a bigger perspective than we do; all the while holding us, guiding us, and bringing us to the plans He has for us. I agree that there is rest in trusting Him and His love.

Rhonda said...

love this post!
A good reminder for me...

grace said...

Thanks rhonda!